My, my, my... Did you all enjoy Cyber Monday? Did you do any of your holiday shopping? Or did you celebrate the day just surfing porn? Well, perhaps you did a little of both, eh?
A message from a guy at BateWorld asked me how I got so lucky to get my wife to understand buddy jack-off. Well, I think i've covered this subject before, but what the hell - if there are straight guys out there who are Faithful Readers who need the info, here we go.
Mutual masturbation does not mean you are gay and is not going to "turn you gay" - so that's probably the first question (read: Worry) any spouse or girlfriend is going to have. Hell, folks, it doesn't even mean you're Bi. The next thing is going to be the insinuation that jacking off with a few friends while watching porn and drinking a few brews is cheating. Nope. It's not any more akin to cheating than if you hid in the bathroom to pound one out. So once you've managed to convince her it's not "gay" the next step is to convince her that jacking off is not cheating.
This is an emotional response from women, because their brains are wired quite a bit differently from ours when it comes to sexual things. They must first understand that our urge to get our rocks off has nothing to do with emotion for us. There's quite a huge difference between making love to a partner or spouse and whacking our willies - which we do for a long list of reasons (that you can find in the archives of the blog). And it's borne out of insecurity: Doesn't he find me attractive enough? Am I doing something wrong, don't I stroke it right?
And, before you guys go getting all high and mighty about insecurities, we've got plenty of our own when we discover our spouses or partners have discovered the joys of solo - particularly if there are vibrators involved. What's wrong with using my dick? Isn't it enough for her, long enough, fat enough? No, guys - she wants and needs solo time for many of the same reasons you do. So, want another piece of ammunition in your arsenal for stroking snakes with your buds? Encourage her to masturbate! Masturbate together, side by side. (You'd be amazed at the things you can learn by watching her do herself. And vice versa, by the way.)
The next step is to help them understand that pounding your puds together can be likened to the same kind of "bonding" she does when she meets her girlfriends for an all day shopping and gossip spree. We're hangin with our buddies, we may play some poker, or watch a game, or put some porn into the DVD, have a few beers... and talk about sex... and maybe someone gets a boner watching the porn. He starts kneading that bulge... You notice... and you stop trying to hide the fact that your cock is snaking its way down your pantleg, or raging against your zipper. And hands get busy for the needed relief.
We're just horny, in need of getting a load off. The bonding comes from the realization that you're all guys, you all get horny, you all get raging hard-ons, all masturbate - and enjoy the hell out of it!! - and acknowledge the fact that you belong to this club, this brotherhood, called Men.
It ain't gonna be easy, guys. It ain't gonna happen all in one conversation. It may take weeks, maybe even months before she understands it's got nothing to do with her, your relationship with her, or your feelings for her. And it may end up as mine did. She's good with it as long as she knows about it - as long as I tell her ahead of time, "I think I need to get in some guy time this weekend." Or, "I've been invited to the poker party for Saturday night. Is that okay?"